Vacuums Like Broadswords and other Household Conundrums

I have always thought our vacuum is old and disgusting, so I finally googled it thinking I'd find it had been recalled back in '83, but actually I found it's going for $492.95 on Amazon.

Seriously? Wielding that thing is like hefting a broadsword. Who spends have a thousand dollars on such a thing? This guy does:

Do you see how he's smiling? That's because he just got the exact same workout vacuuming his living room as he would have battling both Legolas and Gimli for Middle Earth.