Dear Billy Collins,
You are pretty cool. Remember that one time, back in 2001-2003, when you were the United States Poet Laureate? I must say, you've written some pretty fine poems in your day. I'm usually the kind of girl who professes that "No! Lyricists are the Walt Whitmans of now! People who call themselves poets are so pretentious!" But you, for some reason, were an exception. You were better than the inaccessible, nebulous, unengaging "poets" of now. How could you disappoint me so wholly?
I looked forward to your poetry reading for two whole weeks! I was ecstatic with anticipation. My friends and I drove an hour and a half from our city in order just to hear you speak! A whole hour and then another half of an hour, and then all that to go back later, too, and that was our entire purpose, friend! The only reason for that long, mid-week trip into nowhere! YOU!
So happy were we, as we burst through the door into the building that looked like a rubrics cube, or a box, depending on who you are when you look at it, only to be slapped in the face by a sign that said:
"Billy Collins poetry reading: CANCELED."
Canceled? Canceled! CANCELED?!
Good grief! You couldn't send out a memo or something about this whole cancellation business?
Next time, please consider others, and either refrain from promising your presence when it obviously is not going to occur, or just show up and read your crummy poems. That's all we wanted, anyway.
Your ex-friend,
Adelheid
No comments:
Post a Comment