The Sinister Australian Redback Spider!

When I was younger, I had this theory. It's one of those things that I look back on and laugh. Why? Well, actually living this part of life is so much different than I thought it would be, theoretically, and that's why it's comical. I had a lot of bogus theories like this one. Then again, maybe it's not such a bad idea...

Theory: I should marry an ugly man. Why? If he's uglier than I am, then he will never leave me. Could he do better than me? No, are you kidding? What kind of a lucky miracle was it that I agreed to marry him in the first place?

If you think this is a good idea, read this link for some help:

How to fall in Love with Someone Who's Really Ugly

Oh, and proof that I'm attractive enough that someone, somewhere, is less attractive than I am (just in case you were wondering. Because frankly, I wonder):

Why I have so many sisters (I have nine sisters).

And if you were wondering if spiders really are creepy, just read this, and you'll never need to ask again. Don't ask me how I found this. I don't want to talk about it.