Comedy Central.

I wrote down some of the ridiculous things that my family said while I was home visiting this summer. We're an outspoken tribe, as you're about to see.

Anika: "Heidi, do we have meat in us? Like animals?"

Makiah: "Someday, Heidi, we're going to get out of this house."

Me: "I already did... remember the part where I go to college?"

Makiah: "Oh yeah. I forgot."

Nephi: "I wish Makiah were a boy."

Anika: "Evil people have messy hair."

Nephi: "The string won't go back in; the hat's lost; and his battery pack won't go back into his butt."

Makiah: (to Janel): "You're going to live in the city, I just know it."

Makiah: "Do you have The Orthodox book with you?"

Me: "Uh... The Alchemist?"

Makiah: "That's what I said."

Kimber: "We have a gene in our family that makes us ruin our own lives."

Makiah: "...as long as he has nice lips. And good hair. And nice teeth!"

Makiah: "...Obviously you're not telepathic."

Stephanie: "What's worse than having a child attached to a blanket?"

Mom: "Having a child that's attached to two blankets." (That would be Penny).

Anika: "She's disgusting. I like her, a little. As a friend."

Connor: (age 6): "I can drive!"

Anika: (emphatically) "No, you can't! You don't even have a license plate! You'd go to juvenile!"

Nephi: "...and guys, being obnoxious is when you talk real loudly, just to let you know."

Makiah: (very seriously)"No, Nephi. Being obnoxious can mean many different things."

Makiah: "How much is tithing?"

Mom: "Ten percent."

Nephi: (indignantly) "I thought it was five!"