How to Make a Sandwich

1. First, move to New York City from Yugoslovia.
2. Learn English by watching daytime soap operas.
3. Meet an Elementary school teacher named Suzy in Central Park. Use soap opera vocabulary to woo Suzy into a quick, green-card-grabbing wedding.
4. Identify hunger.
5. Yell out, "Suzy, make me a sandwich!" Preferably while watching your soaps, wearing a wifebeater undershirt, and drinking a cheap beer.
6. Wait patiently for sandwich to be prepared.
7. Enjoy sandwich!