A Letter About Life in College

To: my sweet sister, Kimber, upon the occasion of your graduation.

Dear Kimber,

This is an exciting season of change for both of us. You are graduating from high school, and in the fall, you are going to BYU. I am graduating from BYU, and in the fall, I will be going to high school (as a teacher). . . (I hope I hope!). I think it's as good a time as any to tell you all you need to know to survive the jungle. Seeing as you and I are so similar, I think that my advice will be especially helpful for you. Here is a list:

1. don't drink the water. It may not be a foreign country, but it is in town, and you are used to well water. It will taste really gross, and if you try to drink as much as you need in a day, the poisons in it will make your belly ache, too. get a Britta filter. Use it.
2. Spend as little money as you possibly can in the BYU bookstore. It seems cool at first, because it embodies the spirit of BYU in a sense, but I promise you: you will come to resent that establishment almost as much as you resent someone spitting in your morning cereal. The solution? half.com, which is powered by ebay. Yes, ebay is the answer. Ebay is always the answer.
3. Eat real food. Food that you literally eat day in and day out will eventually make you sick at the sight of them. So, if you ever want to enjoy Cheerios or peanut putter sandwiches again, make sure that you also eat something else during the course of the day. Like meat. And vegetables.
4. If you eat junk food, you WILL get fat. It's just one of those things you don't want to learn the hard way.
5. If you got it from a vending machine, it IS junk food, and it WILL make you fat.
6. If a boy asks you on a date, and you are in the HBLL, then he's a jerk and a player. Don't bother.
7. If a boy asks you on a date, and it is not the library, you might as well say yes as long as you're not already in a serious relationship and you're not getting creeper vibes from him.
8. Never go for a run after dark.
9. Never run on the river trail.
10. If a boy asks you out, and you are both in the same ward, then think carefully. It sounds nice, the idea of getting to spend 2 hours every Sunday with your boyfriend during church, BUT, do you really want to spend 2 hours every Sunday with your ex boyfriend?
11. Use ratemyprofessor.com to find the right professor for each class. Remember, too, that a negative rating might be positive in actuality (IE: "Don't take this professor! He requires you to .....learn! And it will stretch your brain until it expands to capture a larger portion of the knowable universe!" How dare he!)
12. Take astronomy from Professor Moody. That way, you can say that you took a class from Professor Moody.
13. Even if you don't go to "FHE" or devotional or institute every week, go to the temple every week. It's a good choice. You may never again have the opportunity.
14. When a boy asks you "What are you thinking about?" when he hugs you goodnight after a date, he probably is thinking about kissing you. Beware.
15. You don't have to marry the first jerk who tells you he loves you.
16. Keep a separate journal to record all of your dates in, and keep a running tally of all the boys who ask you out. Dating is a game of feast or famine. Written proof of the coming feast will help you stave off the hunger of famine.
17. Learn to find quality, cool clothes at the DI. This is a very difficult and frustrating talent to foster, but it will save you tons of money if you can pull it off.
18. Do NOT join the medieval club. I will disown you if you do.
19. Wash your dishes every time you make a dish dirty, and wash them right away. If you leave even ONE dish in the sink, you basically fail as a roommate and you deserve to feel crummy about how rude you are to all of your unfortunate roommates who have to deal with your crap under their noses all day long. Remember: You are living with strangers! They don't have to love you, and a sure-fire way to make sure they don't is to be a slob!
20. Do not expect your roommates to ever, ever ever clean up after you. You are a grown up. Act like one. They shouldn't have to even look at your mess. Plus, it is not their mess; it is YOUR mess. If you are too busy to clean up after yourself, then you are too busy to make a mess in the first place.
21. Whatever you do, do NOT put your boogers on your roommates' bed covers. She will throw up a little in her mouth when she finds the green scab on her otherwise clean duvet.
22. Wash your sheets every week.
23. Seriously, wash those bad boys.
24. Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency for ANYONE ELSE.
25. Don't spend more money than you earn.
26. Continue to read for pleasure. The HBLL is an amazing place where magical dreams come true, if only you dedicate some of your time to reading.
27. Act like a grown up, even when everyone else is acting like they are 5 years old. It might seem like the cool thing to do, but really it not. You won't regret it!

Well, that is all, at least for now.

Your sister,

Heidi

P.S.: Does anyone else have good advice for my little sister about college life?

Sweet Freedom

"Today is a good day to die."

-Lt. Commander Worf

 Do you remember "The Story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin? I read it first in high school. A woman with a heart condition is told that her husband has died in a tragic accident. Locking herself in her room, she does not find pain in her husband's passing, but rather, joy:

"She did not stop to ask if it were or were not a monstrous joy that held her."

And when she learned that her husband was not in fact dead, she died of the shock. It's a very interesting short story; you should read it.

I thought that if Jordan and I ever ended our relationship that I would die of grief. I find myself, on the contrary, released of an immense burden. Just as Kate Chopin's Louise Mallard felt, I feel:

"Free! Body and soul!"

When I read this story for the first time, I had never been in love. I was 15 or 16, and I thought that Louise must have been in an abusive relationship. I thought that Mr. Mallard must have been a horrible man, or Louise must have been a terribly selfish woman.

I find my opinion is changed. Jordan was not abusive. I was not selfish. And yet, here I am, exulting in the inner chamber of my self:

"Free, free, free!"

Lovers and Ducks.

Today, welcome to Spring.
Lovers are saying:
"Let's stroll in the sunshine
And bask in the Sun,
bright like our love,
warm like our hands,
intertwined.

Children are saying:
"Look!
It's a duck!"
And mothers are saying:
"Yes, This one is called a mallard."
The mallard is swimming
and quacking with joy
his mate,
she is preening
shaking her head
and pinching her feathers
in her long, yellow beak.

This morning she said
to her mallard:
"Let's swim in the sunshine
and bask in the sun,
bright like our love,
warm like our feathers,
when we sit side by side!"
Thus lovers and ducks,
Strolling and swimming,
Welcome Spring.
-hb

For Your Enjoyment: A Postmodern Love Poem

I.
Ich.
Itch.
Immix.
I lick.
I like.
I love.
Above.
A dove.
In love.
It's luck.
Good Luck.
You muck.
My truck.
A rut.
King Tut.

My Favorite Books

I made a list of my favorite books. Of course, the scriptures are the most precious books to me, especially The Book of Mormon, so in this list I only included "secular" books. These novels may not have changed my life as The Book of Mormon has, but they have made it more beautiful.

1. Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis
• I first saw this book in a Deseret Book (a publication company) catalog when I was about 12. My sister Stephanie and I went to an art fair at Penn State with our art teacher that summer, and we stopped at a Barnes and Noble bookstore, where I calculated that as long as I did not buy lunch, I could buy the book. I remember Stephanie asking my multiple times if I were hungry, and I was, but I said no, because I needed every precious penny to buy that book, and it was not at the library.
• A re-telling of the myth of Psyche and Cupid from the perspective of Psyche's sister, this book has been different every time I have read it. As I grow up, I feel like the book grows up with me. When I first read it, I thought it was about fitting in, and finding one's self. Now that I'm older and have re-read it, I think that it is about accepting who one really is, and loving that person, despite inevitable flaws. I am certain that when I am older, I will find new meaning in the pages of this, my favorite book.
2. The Rising of the Lark by Ann Moray
• My sister Stephanie first read this book. It was in our high school library. I once asked her if she recommended any books, and she told me to read this one, so I did, and I loved it.
• Without departing from reality, Ms. Moray was able to create a feel of magic in this story about a young girl coming of age on the brink of the first world war in Wales.
3. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
• Most movies made of books are "not as good as the book," but Ella is a special case: if only they had stuck to the book, it would have been infinitely better. I think it was a budget issue.
• A re-telling of the story of Cinderella, I was deeply pleased by the added depth of Cinderella's character.This is a book I love for its magic and heart. So lovely.
4. Little Sister by Kara Dalkey
• I found this book in the library in high school, and loved it. I've read it multiple times.
• A beautifully written story engaging with Japanese mythology, this novel is about a young girl who faces the supernatural because of her love for her older sister, trapped in a trance after the  tragic death of her husband.
5. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
• I read this book for AP English in high school. I found myself drawn to the emotion, the imagery, and (I now realize), the Gothic Romance of this novel.
• Jane Eyre, a plain and poor orphan, finally finds love as well as her place in the world despite supernaturally great odds.
6. Lirael by Garth Nix
• The 2nd book of a trilogy, I found myself deeply connected to the titular character when I read this two summers ago, and ergo, it is on this list.
• Lirael wants nothing but what everyone around her already has, and waits patiently for the gift of foresight that all her family enjoys. As her birthdays pass her by, she despairs of ever being able to not only fit in, but also be seen as an adult in her community. She is graciously allowed to begin a vocation as a librarian, and finds in the library things that no one knew existed, including a book with her name on it.
7. Beauty by Robin McKinley
• This retelling of the classic tale of Beauty and the Beast is also one that I associate with Stephanie. The first time I read it was a copy she owned, and it had an enchanting picture on the front of a young woman smelling a rose.
• Robin McKinley's strong female lead has more personality than all the Disney princesses combined. She also happens to experience personal growth, which is something that no Disney princess has ever done (that I can think of: Sleeping Beauty? No. Cinderella? Not at all. Snow White? Nope. Bell? Hardly. Ariel? Quite the opposite. Rapunzel? Ha! Don't make me laugh!).
8. The Giver by Lois Lowrey
• This is one of two books from this list that I was assigned to read for a class, and it was in middle school.
• This distopian novel engaged me in a way I had never been engaged before with a novel. It probably was because I had such excellent teachers.
9. The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackman
• I read this novel for my senior capstone course in English, with Dr. Perry. It was the American Gothic Novel. I loved that class. I love that professor. I love Gothic literature.
• Is Hill House Haunted, or is Eleanor as unstable as all that? Is it possible. . . is it both?

It's interesting to me to see that most of my "favorite" books are (1) modern and (2) books that I have read multiple times (and probably the only books I have read more than once).

Flowers From My Valentine

 Jordan buys me flowers. This is a practice which I fully support.

 For Valentine's day/our anniversary (1 year?!), he bought me the most beautiful bouquet.

 . . . Then he left for Virginia.

 I was so sad, thinking about these flowers dying, until I realized that I can take pictures of them ,and then they will last FOREVER!

 So I did. And these are they.

 There were 3 beautiful lillies in the flower arrangement, though only one was open when I got them. So, I watched the 2nd and 3rd slowly open, then turn from pink to purple. It was really quite magical!

 Are they not lovely?

 There were gerber daisies, too. And this red one below, and ferns, and baby's breath.

Ah, love.

I = - (Dorothy)

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Why would you go there? Is it always summer? Or beautiful? Are there things you can only do there, like skiing, or surfing, or looking at the original Mona Lisa?

If I could go anywhere in the world, I would go somewhere over the rainbow, where I can see my family members, and do art, and write things that interest many people.

I would have purpose, and also be at peace.

I would be able to value the beauty around me, whether it was summer, or winter.

The most important thing is that I would not be alone.